Boundaries with Young Adults

Boundaries with Young Adults

As I mentioned before, we've been reading the book "Love and Respect." I keep wondering, though.... How do you show respect for a young adult who sometimes does, well, dumb things. I've decided that I need to have a boundary for my 18 year old men. My husband and I try to only intervene if we believe the boys are doing something that is "life-threateningly" dumb, that is, doing something that could negatively alter the course of their life. If they are just doing something that isn't up to our "expected standards of responsibility" (i.e., dumb) then perhaps it's just a demonstration of independence, or a personal preference that we wouldn't make ourselves.


When our men turned 18, we want them to make choices for themselves based on the instructions they have received over their lifetime. We try to show respect for the men in our household and only intervene when we believe it is necessary for their future well-being.



I hope that helps someone!

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More Fun with Maps

More Fun with Maps

One day I had the kids create their own continent. I have a list of things that their continent MUST have (isthmus, peninsula, plateau, moraine - that was a great one to look up in the dictionary, etc.) and they drew it on paper. When they were all done, we did a paper mache model of their continent, using the same layered cardboard idea. My kids had so much fun making these maps! One day they spent their art time, map time, and most of their free time working on their continents. They also wrote a short story about their continent. (I only rarely come up with my own creative writing ideas). My oldest son wrote about the lost continent of Atlantis. The younger son wrote his story about a lone survivor of an airplane crash (like the book Walkabout). Really great stories. They were had so much fun they didn't want to stop! It was a nice break from our usual map and timeline routine.


Remembering these types of things always reminds me about how much FUN homeschooling was. Yes messy! Yes, frustrating! But one day you'll remember all the fun parts too!

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Introductory Logic, by Nance

Introductory Logic, by Nance

Originally written for Christian schools, this logic series presents material from a strongly Christian perspective. My children LOVED the series, and I found that using the DVD meant that I didn't need to learn any of it! Whoo Hoo! I dodged a bullet on that one, because Logic was like Calculus to me! If you are considering Logic for next year, give this one a try. It can be used in Junior or Senior High School.








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He is Risen!

Greetings on this joyous Easter morning!


Today our family will celebrate our risen Savior starting with coffee at Starbucks (just like in the first century, I think.) Then we will enjoy church with my sister and her family. Alex will be playing keyboards with the worship team and then conducting the choir in The Easter Song.

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Finding the Perfect College Fit

Finding the Perfect College Fit

 


Each college is unique. They each have different expectations and requirements. Make sure you ask them what they want! The good news is that means there is a college out there that will be a perfect fit - you just have to look hard enough to find it!

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Cheap and Easy Pre-Algebra

Cheap and Easy Pre-Algebra

When my children did pre-algebra, we used Access to Algebra and Geometry by Addison Wesley. At the time, it was the book recommended by Sonlight. Now there are many more options for homeschooling families. It's great to have so many things to choose from! But sometimes cost is a huge issue. Sometimes you don't need something "new and improved" with all the bells and whistles. Sometimes you just need a math book! Since this is an older book now, it's very cheap, but we really did love it. Even though I used it during my first year homeschooling, I still found it easy to use. Pre-algebra was an easy subject for me, but I think if you can "solve for x" in simple equations like "5 times x = 10" then you should be OK. It does have a solution manual available.


The book has lots of pictures, which I suppose might be outdated now. It had a nice math review during each chapter. It was easy to teach, easy to understand, and both of my boys did well with it.

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Memories of the Way I Was...

Memories of the Way I Was...

I've been consulting with a lot of clients in full panic mode. And it reminded me that two, three, four even five years ago, that was ME! I remember having trouble sleeping. Long painful discussions about minuscule college savings accounts. Tears and fears about being unable to provide the college experience my kids needed. There were glimmers of hope, sure. Whispers of scholarships, and homeschooled kids who successfully achieved the financial support they needed. Whispers of hope....


I just want to shout it from the roof tops! THERE IS HOPE! Colleges want your students! Financial aid is available! Learn to be valuable to the college if you can, yes. But know that there is hope!

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You Are Capable!


This time of year people start considering options for next year. Some parents are considering accessing classes in a school environment (public, private or co-op classrooms.) Whatever decisions you make, I encourage you to just make sure that you are the person in control, not a school or a school teacher. The control issue is very important. It means that you don't have to jump through hoops in order to get the class that you want. It means that if the class works, you use it. If it doesn't work, just stop using it and go to something else. Don't wait out the term! If you are accessing it for one class and it works, then great!. But don't feel like you "must" use their classes. Beware if you start feeling incapable. Sometimes situations like that can feed your fears, and make you feel more and MORE incapable. But we know different - you ARE capable. You're able to decide whether each class is the right thing for your child, and you will remain capable to making good decisions even if you sign up for a class at a school.


No matter what -- make sure you always feel confident in your abilities, and remain in control of the education of your child.

Blessings,

Lee

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Failure is an Option!

Have you ever notice that everyone else's children seem perfect? They are smarter, nicer, more musical or athletic, right? We all know that nobody is perfect, but why do other kids seem more perfect than our own?

Rarely do mothers and fathers share failures and short-comings of their kids. Usually they share successes and strengths! I often share my children's strengths - does that mean they are perfect? No Way!

This past month I have really been faced with "to err is human" in an up-close and personal way. Both of my young men (now 18 and 20) received their first traffic tickets. Both of them - two weeks apart. Each was driving about 20 mph over the limit. Each is faced with a huge ticket and a visit to traffic court. Both are considering how they will compensate financially if their insurance rates go up.

Apparently, I'm not perfect either. I taught them both to drive! And look at what happened! I'm trying hard not to feel like a failure in this area. I try to remember that I give instruction, but they make choices like adults make choices. But still, you would think that homeschooling would come with some sort of guarantee. Shouldn't it?

Take heart. Nobody is perfect!

Blessings,

Lee

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Thinking About High School Already??

The best time to consider homeschooling high school is.... now! I love it when parents of 6th, 7th, and 8th graders tell me that they are beginning to learn about homeschooling high school. It's a great training time for parents! You can learn all of the issues around record keeping, academics, and encouraging specialization. At the same time, there is no pressure to "perform" or be perfect, since it's all just for practice.

When my oldest child began 7th grade, that's when I started reading about high school. By the time it was my turn, I felt like an "old pro"!

Blessings,

Lee

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How to Use Family Math

How to Use Family Math

My first week of homeschooling I took my one and only "class", and it was on Family Math. I learned how to play about 10 or so of the games. The basic idea is to start at the top of the directions and work your way down, and the game WILL eventually make sense. Usually my kids understood the game better than me: I'm just there to read the directions!This is how I used it: I looked at the math lesson that my kids were learning that day. Say it's fractions. I looked in the index in the back of the Family Math book, and look up fractions. It lists 4 or 5 games and activities with fractions. I looked at the top of each game for the grade level (primary, elementary, or middle school). Then I looked at the game to see what I need for supplies. I kept a shoe box with math stuff: sugar cubes, dice, cards. Mostly the games just required paper and pencil.


We played a math game almost every day. I used it as my math manipulative. This math manipulative is directly related to what they were learning in their math lesson (also in some of the Building Thinking Skills lessons.) It helped to teach the "why" of math concepts that may be difficult at first. When my eldest was 11 years old, he would usually begin his math lesson with "I don't get it." If I could find a good game for that lesson first, then he would start his lesson with "This is so easy." There was never a middle ground, by the way!

To make my life easier, and on the advise of the Family Math teacher, I made copies of all the game boards that I needed at the beginning of the year (when copies were 1 penny!) I made about 10 copies of each game. The book is reproducible. I paper clipped the copies together, and stored them in a 3 ring binder in numerical order. If the game on page 92 requires a copy, I slip one out of the folder. I have my hubby make more copies when one set gets low. Not all games require copies, though.

I loved Family Math because it is multi-age (k-8th grade) and inexpensive to use. Much like Spelling Power!



Blessings,

Lee

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Continuing Education for Homeschool Professionals!

In many states nurses, doctors, and other professionals are required to take a certain amount of continuing education courses each year. They need to stay up-to-date on the latest research and trends.

Homeschooling parents have a similar need for continuing education. Soon it will be homeschool convention time, and I encourage you to put them on your calendar now! If you don't have a convention in your state, go to a neighboring state. Conventions can show you the newest curriculum, and you can find the resources that will be perfect for your child. Conventions provide wonderful classes that will instruct you on how to teach, or encourage and inspire you to continue along this sometimes challenging path. You'll find educational games and activity suggestions that will spark interests in your children. Conventions aren't 100% perfect, and I know they can be very overwhelming at times. They can also help you plan ahead, learn more, and become motivated again.

Take a moment to put your homeschool conventions on the calendar! Here are the 2008 conventions in Washington State. When you are there, make sure you stop by my booth and say "Hi!". You can also hear me speak on the topics shown below:

Christian Heritage Conference
April 17-19
Redmond, WA
more...

NW Catholic Conference
May 2-3
Tukwila, WA
Topic: "College Preparation"
more...

WHO Convention
June 13-14
Puyallup, WA
Topics: "Gifted Education" and "Transcripts"
more...

WATCH Conference
August 8-9
Seattle, WA
more...

Blessings,

Lee
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"Stand By Your Man" - Homeschool Addition

In our Sunday School class on "Love and Respect" I learned a new strategy for dealing with teenage boys! Women tend to relate best face-to-face while talking. The book suggests that men relate best shoulder-to-shoulder without necessarily using words. If you are struggling with your teenage son, try to spend some quiet time doing nothing, saying nothing, and accomplishing nothing. Just be by his side, whether in the car or doing another activity he is interested in. Chances are, he will interpret that outing in a positive way.

In my own life, I have seen how that strategy can work. When I have a difficult subject to discuss with my boys, it goes over best if we are NOT talking face to face. It helps if we are on a walk, or in the car, and are both looking forward rather than at each other. It's almost as if these guys feel threatened when we look them in the eye. Like a pack of wolves, they can perceive eye contact as a threat and fight back.

If you are struggling with your boys and desperate for ideas, it may be worth a try. Shoulder-to-shoulder, avoid eye contact. Let me know if it works!

Blessings,

Lee


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Only "Actual Teachers" Should Read This!

A virtual school had an advertisement with a parent testimonial stating:

"We have found the K12 curriculum to be far above anything we could have done on our own, plus we have the added advantage of an actual teacher for help"

Don't be fooled! Homeschooling parents ARE actual teachers - the best possible teachers for their children.

That same virtual school had another advertisement that said:

"Student/student interaction is also actively encouraged, so (this virtual school's) students are always well-educated and well-socialized."

In my opinion, any group that worries about children being "well-socialized" are NOT homeschooling groups. It's one of those "ah ha" statements that really indicates a lot about a group. Any time someone tells you that you need a classroom experience to be "well-socialized" you can confidently stand your ground. Be polite, but firm, and explain that your homeschooled children ARE well-socialized, and they didn't need a classroom environment to get that way. Friends and family, people of all ages, and the normal comings and goings of your life provide all you need to "socialize" your children.

Remember: you ARE an "actual teacher!"

Remember: you are providing your children with all the social skills they need to shine in this world.

Blessings,

Lee

The HomeScholar provides a free monthly e-newsletter, daily blog support, low cost videos and private consultations -- everything you need to successfully homeschool through high school.

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The Intangible Benefits of Homeschooling


From Eeyore to Tigger:


The tangible benefits of homeschooling are many. You can see the benefits of academics, socialization, and specialization. You can see the quality of the kids that receive moral and ethical values, with lots of time for family. There are also intangible benefits of homeschooling.

I recently worked with a family who decided to pull their student out of public school as a sophomore. While he was a very sweet child, I noticed that he was withdrawn - never looking me in the eye. I briefly wondered about depression. After a month of homeschooling, I saw the family again. The child and mother we teasing each other and laughing - poking each other in the ribs as they walked! The student looked me in the eye and said, "hello" while smiling! The cloud was lifted!This is not the first time I've seen an Eeyore become a Tigger. This is one of the intangible benefits of homeschooling. When the constant negative feedback of school is removed, and the student is molded and shaped through real life experiences and a loving family, the cloud can be lifted.

Blessings,

Lee
www.TheHomeScholar.com
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